My family was both what I had anticipated and what I had not; it’s not clear yet if they or I have changed.  I’m happy to report that my uncle Samuel is more or less as I remember him.  Immediately, he wrapped me in an embrace—quite unbecoming, but I expect it’s more acceptable here.  I hope I didn’t seem rude, for I was a bit surprised.  I’m sure I seemed rude in my hasty retreat.  I’m still not sure what came over me; all of a sudden, it was just too much.  It would seem that the main obstacle in coming to understand my mother is going to be myself.

I believe Uncle Samuel will be the easiest to gain the confidence of, if I have not already.  And as he knew my mother the best, he is the one who matters the most to my purposes.  I don’t think that Aunt Caroline cares for me very much.  If I remember correctly, she was the same when I was a child, so that may just be her disposition.  Of course, I ceaselessly look for ways to blame myself, to search for some ill I unconsciously committed.  I promised Frederick I would stop doing that; it grates on his nerves.

I do hope that Jenny and I will get on well.  She seems wonderfully strange; I’ve never met anyone who collects seashells.  Most I know are only interested in manmade trinkets—terribly droll.

Despite my doubts and shortcomings, I do think that being here will help me.  Knowing my mother is the key to it all.  I’m sure of it.  Once I understand her, I’ll finally be ready to lose her.